so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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