how can u be prego again
This is not my ceiling
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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