he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am midnight drunk by noon
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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