She announced her abortion via fbk
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
