I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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