True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
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Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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