I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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