Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
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She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
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Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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