i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize