i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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