i barfeds in our rink
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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