The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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