i jhust puked up my retainher.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
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Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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