there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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