Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize