Where did you get a picture of my penis
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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