You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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