Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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