The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
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you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
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Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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