You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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