Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
All I want is dick and wine.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize