At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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