Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
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My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
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Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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