I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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