____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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