I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just had sex bonerless
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just forgot I was standing up.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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