i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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