The maid of honor just puked.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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