i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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