You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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