My Higher Power is John Stamos
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize