:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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