What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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