I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize