I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize