i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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