He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
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she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
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Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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