u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize