I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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