I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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