whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize