would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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