I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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