Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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