i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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