Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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