I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize