3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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