Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize