next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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